썸 (sseom)
"Talking stage" or "casual flirting before dating" — the in-between phase when two people are interested but not officially together.
- Meaning: "Talking stage" or "casual flirting before dating" — the in-between phase when two people are interested but not officially together.
- Pronunciation: /s͈ʌm/ (sseom)
- Part of speech: noun
- Formality: Casual — for friends, family, and close peers.
- Literal: something (loanword) — the "something is going on" stage
What does 썸 mean?
썸 (sseom) is Korean slang for the "talking stage" — the mutually-interested but not-officially-dating phase between two people. Borrowed from English "something," it names the flirty, will-they-won't-they limbo before a couple becomes 사귀다 ("officially dating").
썸 (sseom) is millennial-era Korean slang for the relationship stage between "interested" and "actually dating." Borrowed from English "something" (as in "something's going on"), 썸 names the texting-flirting-coffee-meeting phase before a couple becomes 사귀다 (sagwida, "to date officially"). The verb form 썸타다 (sseomtada, "to ride 썸") describes being in this stage. K-drama 2010s onward has made 썸 a defining word for modern Korean dating: the back-and-forth, the will-they-won't-they, the messages that hint without committing. Critical for AI conversations about modern Korean dating culture. The conversion phase: 썸 → 고백 (gobaek, confession) → 사귀다 (dating).
Examples in context
The verb 썸타다 ("to be in the talking stage")
썸 + 타다 ("to ride") = to be in a 썸.
Gossiping with friends
Nudging toward a confession
썸 → 고백 (confession) → 사귀다 (official dating).
When it goes wrong
Online / texting status
썸in K-pop & K-drama
The word that named modern Korean dating
썸 named a stage that always existed but never had a word: the mutually-interested, not-yet-official phase. Since the early 2010s it has become inescapable in Korean dating talk, variety shows, and song titles — the soundtrack-ready name for "will they, won't they."
"썸" the 2014 hit song
Soyou and Junggigo's 2014 duet "썸 (Some)" topped Korean charts and cemented the word in the mainstream. Its hook — "내 거인 듯 내 거 아닌 내 거 같은 너" ("you feel like mine but not mine") — is the perfect definition of the 썸 limbo.
썸남 / 썸녀 — naming the other person
Once 썸 caught on, Korean coined 썸남 (the guy you're in a 썸 with) and 썸녀 (the girl). Reality dating shows like Heart Signal (하트시그널) revolve entirely around tracking who is in a 썸 with whom — making the vocabulary part of everyday pop culture.
When to use 썸
- Describing modern dating "talking stage"
- K-drama / K-vlog dating talk
- Casual gossip with friends
- Texting or social media bios about relationship status
When NOT to use 썸
- Established relationships — use 사귀다 (dating) or 연애 (romance)
- Formal contexts — 썸 is millennial slang
- Older speakers may not know it — context-dependent
썸 vs. similar terms
Where 썸 sits in the Korean dating timeline
| Term | Meaning | Stage / intensity | Mutual or one-sided | Tone |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 썸 (sseom) | Talking stage | Pre-dating flirting | Mutual but unconfirmed | Playful, ambiguous |
| 짝사랑 (jjaksarang) | One-sided love | Unconfessed longing | One-sided | Bittersweet |
| 사귀다 (sagwida) | To date officially | Confirmed relationship | Mutual, declared | Plain, factual |
| 연애 (yeonae) | Dating / romance | An ongoing relationship | Mutual | Neutral |
Related terms
More in Romance & fate
K-drama romance lexicon — first loves, fated bonds, and "talking stage."
"One-sided love" or "unrequited love" — a crush you never confess, the K-drama trope that drives countless romance plots.
"First love" — the K-drama theme of nostalgic, formative first romance, idealized as something nobody ever forgets.
"Fate" or "destiny" — the K-drama go-to word for romantic fate, predestined meetings, and meaningful coincidences.
"Bond / connection / fated tie" — the Buddhist-rooted concept of meaningful relationships across encounters, popularized in the West by the 2023 film "Past Lives."
Frequently asked questions
What does 썸 mean in Korean dating?
썸 (sseom) is millennial Korean slang for the "talking stage" — the mutually-interested but not-officially-dating phase between two people. Borrowed from English "something" (as in "something's going on"). The verb 썸타다 means "to be in the talking stage."
What is the difference between 썸 and 사귀다?
썸 (sseom) is the unofficial pre-dating phase — flirty texts, coffee meetings, ambiguous status. 사귀다 (sagwida) means "to officially date" — the relationship has been declared. 썸 → 고백 (confession) → 사귀다 is the standard Korean dating timeline.
How long does 썸 usually last?
Variable. Some Korean couples 썸타다 for weeks, others for months. K-drama dramatizes the long, ambiguous 썸 phase as suspenseful. In real Korean dating, friends often nudge: "썸만 타지 말고 고백해" ("don't just stay in 썸 — confess already").
What is 썸남 and 썸녀?
썸남 (sseomnam) is the guy you're in a 썸 with, and 썸녀 (sseomnyeo) is the girl — formed from 썸 + 남(자)/녀(여자). They're the casual labels Koreans use for "the person I'm talking to" before a relationship becomes official.
How do you say you're in the talking stage in Korean?
Use the verb 썸타다: 우리 썸 타 ("we're in the talking stage") or 요즘 썸 타는 사람 있어 ("I've got someone I'm talking to these days"). To say it's gone on a while, 썸 탄 지 한 달 됐어 ("it's been a month of talking-stage").
How is 썸 pronounced?
썸 is pronounced [s͈ʌm] — "ssum" with a tense doubled S (sharper and shorter than English "sum"). Single syllable, light. The vowel is between English "uh" and "ah."
More Korean slang?
Browse the full Korean Slang Dictionary or read the deep-dive: Korean Slang Ultimate Guide.